i'm not a wordsmith, i'm a wordbutler
180 Days and Counting: Hot Mess Express.

On AO3.

Relationships of all kinds are messy.

Sunday six.

180 Days will go up in a few minutes, but first:

Chain of Custody, Chapter 2: “No Time Like the Present”

“You, meanwhile, are going to turn over your phone and iPod and go spend some quality time in the basement with Lieutenant Colonel Uncle Rhodes.”

For the first time since Bruce stepped outside, Miles’s head snaps up. “Rhodey’s boring,” he complains, his head thumping lightly against the side of the car. “He makes me sit there and do my homework.”

“And sometimes,” Tony adds, pointing a finger at him, “he plays NPR. For hours. Until you’re ready to remove your own fillings with a paperclip just to get out of his office.”

180 Days and Counting: “Hot Mess Express”

“You’re barely returning my text messages.”

Jessica shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“I texted you a dozen times over the weekend, too. I think you responded maybe once.”

“You know how my phone service is. Should’ve just texted my toaster.”

“Funny, since Ororo and Monica said you texted them just fine during spring break—and after.”

I also wrote another tiny ficlet, but it contains spoilers for Duty of Candor, so I might hold onto it until next week. You know, once Duty of Candor is live.




This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.




This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Lady and the Tramp made me hate Siamese cats, but The Cat Who books got me to love them again!!!

Here’s the thing, right? I discovered the Cat Who books in the sixth grade, mostly because at that time I was exclusively reading R.L. Stine’s “Fear Street” series and I would check out like four of them, read them all within about 48 hours, and then need to go back to the the library. My mother suggested I maybe read some harder books, and somehow, I discovered the Cat Who series in the school library, and I became obsessed. Mysteries and cats? Yes forever.

I wanted a Siamese for years because of it, and every time we went to the animal shelter, if there was a vaguely Siamese-looking cat, I would beg and plead with my mother to get it. We once went literally to just pick up a puppy we’d adopted and there was a gorgeous blue-point Siamese that’d been relinquished to the shelter and I lost my shit over it, I kid you not. My mom always said no because Siamese are so vocal.

Years later, we adopted TJ—who is still my cat to this day—and TJ, although a tortoiseshell, proved herself to be RIDICULOUSLY VOCAL IN ABOUT FIVE HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS. And I can now say that my mother was right about not getting a Siamese.

(But man, I loved Koko and Yum-Yum and Qwill so much.)

1. Your first fandom; 2. Your first fictional crush; 3. The first movie you remember needing to watch over and over again.

(1) I think technically my first fandom would be the Sailor Moon fandom. I mean, I was super into the Dragonlance books when I was in middle school and early high school and I definitely wrote a massive fanfic about original characters set in the Dragonlance universe (about a kender named Korin and a cleric named Lowell and I forget all the other characters, but there were many), but I never sought out other people who loved Dragonlance on the internet. Sailor Moon was the first fandom where I went on bulletin boards and posted fanfiction online and made friends who loved SM the way I loved SM and discussed character theory and-and-and. SM is also the home to my first ridiculous epic-length fanfiction, a complicated story about the daughters of the original senshi all being senshi in their own right with, you know, ridiculous names. Sailor Aurora Borealis? Really, past-Kate?

I started a really long Sailor Venus history that I never finished writing, too. I had plans, man, but the SM fandom started to quiet down as I got into college and I kind of split off from a bunch of my SM fandom friends, and that ended that.

(2) Michelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I almost answered differently—I REALLY loved Qwilleran from the Cat Who novels in middle school and considered him my perfect man—but then, I remembered all those years that my sister and I would play house and I’d be married to Michelangelo. (Kerry would be married to Leonardo.) And since this crush was back when the first TMNT cartoon ran in the 1990s, I can say with confidence: Michelangelo.

(3) My siblings and I, as young children, used to rewatch tiny parts of movies a billion times, so I am not sure the very first movie this happened with. In my memory, I think it’s probably an early Disney movie:  Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, probably. We had a bunch of Disney movies taped off the TV instead of the actual commercial VHS tapes, and I know I watched Sleeping Beauty a freaking lot as a child. I’d guess that?

But the first one I truly remember, if I’m honest, is Clue, which we rented when I was in middle school and literally watched like three times a day until it needed to be returned. We could do huge bits of dialogue by the time we relinquished control to Blockbuster, and for weeks after, one of us would say, “I am your singing telegram” and another would finger-shoot the singer. My siblings and I were perhaps weird children.

What are you feelings about Sitwell/Coulson? Best B-52s song? Favorite comic you've ever read?

(1) I don’t think I have any real feelings about Sitwell/Coulson? I mean, can I see it? Absolutely. I think that what we know of Phil supports him dating someone within the organization because they will know SHIELD life and what his schedule’s like. I am interested to see if we find out how he met the Cellist in AoS, because I am kind of wondering if their meeting is SHIELD-related; I just don’t see him, like, trolling Match.com for a pretty girl or anything like that. He’s a company man, and I don’t know how much he just leaves the SHIELD life behind to go out and, you know, meet significant others. And I think it’s not a stretch to say that he and Sitwell, who banter and are clearly good friends, might hook up. I don’t think I’d ever write it, but I’d read it.

(Then again, I would read like pretty much Phil/anyone. Except Phil/Skye, because nope. And probably not Phil/Melinda, because although I love Melinda, she is one half of a secret OTP that my brain and heart loves.)

(2) I know exactly two B-52s songs, and the winner is “Rock Lobster” because it brings me back to fond memories of marching and pep band in high school. It was one of our stock songs we played every year—along with such classics as “Jungle Boogie” and “Carry On My Wayward Son” and some Deep Purple song I don’t remember anymore—and yeah, marching and pep bands were my favorite, so.

(3) This is a tough question, anon! My brain slides quickly toward Hawkeye, but the “Children’s Crusade” Young Avengers arc is also amazing and one of my favorite things ever, and BMB’s Spider-Woman blew my mind, and so I am not sure I can name one favorite comic ever, is my point.

I love them all equally, don’t make me choose!

Natasha Romanoff is an Avenger, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and an ex-KGB assassin, but on her own time, she uses her unique skill set to atone for her past. She is Black Widow.

Mark Ruffalo and Matt Bomer in The Normal Heart

Anonymously message me (3) things you want to know about me.

Oh, no big deal, Chain of Custody Chapter 2 just went from 800 words at about 8 p.m. to 4,600 words at about 11 p.m. 

I’m not going to promise that you guys will love this story, because who really knows?

But I can promise that so far, Clint has shot paper clip arrows at Steve while Tony passes around a bag of Craisins, so it’s quality.